Do diseases affect people differently?

Alessandro – It’s the prejudices that kill

On the occasion its World HIV AIDS Day. That is celebrated on December 1st each year. We spoke with Alessandro, who has been HPV positive for ten years. This is his own life story.

Sexual intercourse, even if not completely penetrative, can be a source of HPV transmission. In all cases, a condom must be used. Explains Dr. Barbara Suligoi, director of the AIDS Center in London.

When Alessandro discovered he had HIV, he was 30 years old and had been hospitalised. “I had a low fever, which then turned into a fever”, Alessandro, who is now 40 years old, says on the phone. “They did all the possible tests on me, but without understanding the real problem, they finally did the exams. And it tested positive. I contracted the HPV virus some time ago because my immune system lymphocytes were very low. Normally, in a healthy person, there are around a thousand; I had 15.” At that precise moment, Alessandro felt like he was dying. Inside and outside.

Devastating news

I was already physically ill, but this news was devastating. Then, I knew nothing about HIV. I was convinced I would die and soon. I was afraid and shaken. Only after a while did the doctors calm me down. The first months at home were tough. Alessandro was afraid of not returning to his life, of having lost everything without even realising it. Then I started going out again slowly, together with my friends and girlfriend of those years. I saw that my life was returning to normal. So Alessandro started breathing again, even if he hadn’t found the courage to tell everyone, not out of fear but of awareness of the great ignorance that still prevails today.

My parents, current partner, sisters, and family know it. None of my friends know about it. I’ve never said that. They might react well, but you never know actually. Some people run away from you. So, I prefer to keep it to myself. This is especially true because Alessandro, who has a degree in psychology, and will get discrimination at work.

How it changed my life

Today, I lead a life that feels normal. The same as anyone else. I think I am normal. I go out, play sports, swim, stay up late with friends. And I have a quiet romantic relationships. Since he discovered he had HPV and HIV, Alessandro has been taking one pill a day. Always at the same time, always on a full stomach. The main symptom was eliminated almost immediately, which means that I don’t transmit the virus even if I have sex without a condom. A condition recognised by the WHO. I’m calm about this. Now Alessandro doesn’t think about his children, but I didn’t do it before either. Today, even though I am positive for both viruses a person on treatment can have healthy children.

When Alessandro was afraid of not being able to get up, he turned to the Italian League against AIDS. In there, I immediately met wonderful people, other HPV infected people like me who had been living a very normal life for years. Today, Alessandro has become a volunteer. When I answered the switchboard, I realised how ignorant there was on this topic.

There are still those who are afraid of drinking from the same glass as someone with it or of touching a positive person. And it is the result of years of criminal information. The same one that forces Alessandro not to tell everyone that he is positive. Ten years have passed, and I have been calm for a long time. I take a pill a day, and it has now become such an automatic gesture that I don’t even think I have any of the viruses anymore.

Jonathan – When I discovered I had HIV

After finding out he was positive, Jonathan was scared. Then he decided to live and started talking about it, especially to younger people. His story.

Jonathan B.

Jonathan will never forget the day he started feeling bad. It was a Monday afternoon in 2016. On that day was a never any again wish made. He had gone out the weekend before to celebrate his boyfriend’s birthday. Forty eight hours later, he started feeling strange, then flu. And so it was for several weeks.

Jonathan Bazzi, now 33 years old and living in Milan, where he graduated in philosophy, decided to take an HPV test kit exam. After imagining several illnesses, he discovered that he was positive, too. From that moment on, he started taking one anti viral pill a day and will do so for the rest of his life.

On World AIDS Day, he told us his story, which will become his first novel, Fever, published by Fandango in 2019.

Finding out

I discovered I was positive two years ago. Before this, I had never taken the test before. I discovered it because my body started to fail due to the infection. I was a teenager and then a scared, influenced, paralysed boy.

So, I removed it and I pretended nothing had happened for years. I was convinced it was enough to be careful. It wasn’t like that, it wasn’t enough. I have contracted an STD virus. I don’t know when it’s not important.

What matters today is that my life, after months of turbulence and aftershocks, has returned to flow as before. I was restless before; I’m restless now. I had dreams and plans before. And now I have dreams and plans now. What must be clear today is that in 2018, a positive person undergoing treatment has a life expectancy practically the same as that of others. But he is not transfigured into a living corpse. Medicine has made giant improvements since then.

Actually, people who have the virus can get permanently treated. And then they will no longer infect others. Today’s medical facts have completely changed the situation from the 80s and 90s. Unfortunately, the culture of silence, shame and stigma persists. The idea is that positive people are plague-ridden, dirty, and dangerous. Guilty, wicked, corrupt.

You had too much sex? And you did it wrong, immoderately. You wanted too much? And you wanted it badly.

In fact

This has nothing to do with the virus. It is cultural superstructure, stigma, and superstition. For this reason, I felt the need to expose myself and do something different from what is usually done. I didn’t want to leave things as they were, and I didn’t want to feel obligated to stay quiet.

It’s a private thing. Think about it. You might regret it.

I want to talk about HIV from the inside because the imagination needs to be updated and a test and also rewritten. The supposed separation between the world of the saved and the damned must be dismantled and dissolved. It affects everyone. It’s not the gay plague; it’s not the disease of junkies and whores.

Unfortunately, a simple relationship is enough, even with one’s husband or wife. It is behaviours that are at risk, not people, and the only way to defend yourself is to use a condom and take an exam. I know the fear of testing well: it has been mine for a long time. It prevented me from taking care of my health for at least a decade. I risked a lot; I was lucky. It could have been much worse.

Living in fear

Find a way to move beyond fear. Be bigger than her. There is no need to do everything alone: today, the internet is a great ally, especially for younger people. Get informed, read, and contact activists and people who deal with sexual health on social media. Buy the test at the pharmacy, do it with friends, or do it with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

I’m on the other side, knowing that life goes on. I don’t feel unlucky. Because HIV is one of my characteristics, nothing more. The real risk today is having the virus without knowing you have it: over time, the immune system is weakened by the virus, and you can have more serious problems.

Starting therapy promptly is essential for this reason. There are tools to protect yourself and feel good today. So let’s all use them. Let’s also do it in memory of those who couldn’t in the past.

Let’s try to be adults.